Episode 6: Yvette’s 7 Lessons in Motherhood, So Far!

As Theo approaches his seventh’s birthday, I am reminded that it is my anniversary of becoming a mother, and I wanted to reflect on seven lessons I have learned over the years.

I Better Understand God’s Love for Me

⁹ This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. ¹⁰ This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

1 John 4:9-10

When I read that, I understand God’s love for me because there is no way that I would ever sacrifice my child for anyone or anything else. I cannot imagine giving up my child to deal with the consequences of sins that are not theirs, and that’s exactly what God did for us with Jesus. There are so many moments when I am talking or disciplining them, I can hear the voice of God sometimes. Slow down. Take a deep breath. I hear Him speaking to me through myself as a mother.

Beauty is Birthed from Pain and Discomfort

The process of growing a human inside of you and birthing that human can be difficult and painful. I have had relatively great pregnancies, but there are moments when it really is hard. Women’s bodies amaze me. You get to the moment to birth this life outside of you, and after four different times, there was pain and discomfort each time. Sometimes the pain was different – harder or easier – but it was always difficult. There are going to be painful moments in life and a lack of comfort. But once you are on the other side, there is beauty birthed. Over time, you develop new coping mechanisms because you know the pain on the other end. Growth comes from discomfort.

Children are Resilient

With each child, I have experienced a setback. With Theo, we walked through swelling on his knee, and it is a nerve-wracking experience to see your child in pain and needing surgery. But he did it! He needed a cast at first, but he eventually was running around doing lots of things.

Uriah Beau wasn’t breathing at one point, and Glen had to call an ambulance to help him breath and eventually we took him to the hospital. But if you know him now, you know he is doing just fine!

Anaya has walked through eczema related to food allergies. I watch her navigate it on her own terms and level of understanding she is developing for herself, and it is so amazing to watch. She doesn’t allow those things to hold her back.

With Uzi, we haven’t seen what he will need to walk through, but I anticipate that something will happen that we will need to walk through. But what my other kids have shown me is that he will bounce back because children are resilient!

Forgiveness Should Have No Contingencies

I look at my two oldest sons, and I am amazed. The other day, Theo and Uriah were intensely fighting with a new toy from Theo’s birthday and moments later, they were cool. It was like nothing ever happened. And I reflect on how angry they were with each other, and within an hour, they are playing and laughing with each other.

As adults, it would take me like a month to get over something with my siblings, but these kids do not even require an apology. They just forgive and I admire that about them.

Experiencing More Grace

I can have high expectations of myself. I’m still learning this lesson, but I need to have more grace for myself. I see how my kids react to me, and they love me, even when I feel like I’m not doing things right. I want to see myself through their eyes.

Maverick City’s History reminds me of how God will never let us go. A few days ago, the kids were supposed to be in quiet time and I heard Theo singing this song. I realized as a mother, I am always playing worship music throughout my home and these lyrics are making their way into their hearts. I trust and believe that these words would land on their spirits. I hope that my kids know that they can trust me, that nothing can separate us, and that we have a deep history.

Pointing Me Back to My Husband

Each child reminds me how important it is to have a solid relationship with my husband. They have reiterated to me the importance of prioritizing our marriage and love for one another. I’m really grateful for that!

The Art of Letting Go

Theo has been asking to cut his hair for a while, and my husband has done a beautiful job documenting this story. Here are the videos if you’d like to watch them:

The Decision

The Cut

The Reveal

I worried that we would make this decision and he would regret it, but when he walked out with his new cut, there was so much joy! He’s taught me to trust him with that choice and let go of control. There are decisions my children will make that will not always be perfect, and the best thing I can do is support them and walk with them through them.