As I’ve sat down to write multiple times with multiple different beginnings, it has come to this. These are three things I’m sitting with this week…
A while back, Brene Brown had a special on Netflix. She shared a phrase she would use in her marriage as a point of clarification. The phrase began, “The story I’m telling myself is…” Then she would follow it up with whatever it is that she was telling herself. This would provide her husband or whomever was on the receiving end an opportunity to clarify if the narrative she described was accurate. I’ve realized that I’ve been exerting too much energy mind-reading, projecting, guessing… whatever you want to call it that I do when I assume what the other person is thinking, feeling, or saying. It’s been said, “There are always two sides to every story. Understanding is a three-edged sword. Your side, their side, and the truth in the middle.”
This week I heard these words and I have not been able to let them go. It’s not that I’ve never heard these three words before, it’s that they’re resonating with me differently in THIS season. I have been experiencing a lot of stress paralysis lately, and I’ve come to realize it’s because I have this unrealistic expectation that things need to be just right (aka “perfect”) for me to even begin. Consistency is my new goal. Whether it’s getting these posts out every week or cleaning the kitchen before I go to bed every night, I just need to be consistent in moving toward the goal. Consistency creates momentum which further produces progress. My prayer is that I would be able to release the need for things to be perfect in order to progress toward my calling.
Our therapist spoke these words to us last year, and I have been repeating them to myself every time I become overwhelmed with grief. Hashtag “feel your feelings” can seem so cliché, but there’s a real necessity for it. I am one who will stuff my feelings down to make room for the feelings of others, but the problem with doing that is eventually I get too stuffed, and the feelings have nowhere to go but out. When they eventually come out it’s not always “productive,” for the lack of a better word. I also want to clarify that I know grief is most often associated with death, and while there’s been a lot of loss in our families speaking of grief in all its forms of deep sorrow. Whether you’re grieving the loss of life or the loss of an opportunity or the transition into a season that is less favorable than the last, ride the wave! Allow your emotions to surface. Create a safe space for yourself to feel and be kind to yourself. It’s not weakness. It’s strength. At least, that’s the story I’m telling myself.
Hey, hey! I'm Yvette!
I'm a thirty-four year old wife, mother of four, podcast host, and writer from San Diego, California. I'm a former math teacher turned stay-at-home parent and influencer with the unique opportunity to bring women into community with one another and encourage them in their seasons of life through my podcast, Yvette, Unplugged and my online community, Women, Unplugged.
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