There are some women out there who are really good at keeping a clean house. I mean they actually fold EVERY load of laundry right out the dryer. There are other women out there who are skilled at DIY projects around their home. Some women can whip up tasty AND healthy meals without following a recipe that their children will actually eat. Other women excel in their role as a wife. Some women slay in fashion. Some women are Bible scholars who can shine light on God’s Word in a transformational way. Other women have an immense amount of patience with their children, while there are others who can homeschool their children in their sleep. Some women are gifted with their words, and others are killing it at holistic living.
What is true of these women I desire to be true of me. However, I’ve concluded life is not a buffet. At a buffet we get to choose all our favorite dishes to make up the perfect meal. In life, I cannot choose all my favorite things I see in other women to create the perfect version of womanhood in me.
Let me elaborate…
I often times become overwhelmed by who I think I’m supposed to be. I get to these places of paralysis where if I cannot be all the things, then why be anything at all. I’ve been forced to really take a look at these “expectations” of myself and evaluate where they come from. Last year I realized that in being exposed to everyone’s highlight reel, I began to create this image of who I was supposed to be as a believer, woman, wife, mother, daughter, sister… insert all the roles. In January, I decided I would finally listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit and log off Instagram for a year. This was a hard decision to make, because as an “influencer” I was able to earn income that I was looking forward to using to put toward the kingdom building work I feel called to do. However, I knew if I wanted to show up as a better version of myself, I had to let go of a space that did not serve me well in that season.
I have a bittersweet relationship with the time period in which I was born. There are so many things to be grateful for, and others I wish did not exist. While social media is a way to connect, learn, and even grow, I understand the impact it has on the story I’m creating in my head of who I’m supposed to be. It is unfair to myself to create this picture of who I’m supposed to be based on the best of everyone else. Yes, she (whoever she is) may be great at cooking nutritious meals but she’s also lacking in some other area that I cannot see. She’s sharing about cooking nutritious meals to give other people inspo for cooking nutritious meals. Of course, she would want to share her knowledge to add value to others. However, I’m over here designing a whole version of myself based on someone else’s gifting that may not be my own.
Per usual, I’m not sure who this is for I’m just being obedient in sharing. Be you, boo! Be who God created YOU to be! Unplug for a while to truly dig deep and listen to God about who you are and who you want to become. Maybe don’t unplug for a whole year, but quiet the voices that are speaking to your identity and listen to the one voice that matters. Life is not a buffet. The highlight reels we get to see on the regular are just that… the highlights. If you’re like me, and find yourself whelmed by who you think you’re supposed to be, it may be time for a renegotiation of terms with yourself.
Hey, hey! I'm Yvette!
I'm a thirty-four year old wife, mother of four, podcast host, and writer from San Diego, California. I'm a former math teacher turned stay-at-home parent and influencer with the unique opportunity to bring women into community with one another and encourage them in their seasons of life through my podcast, Yvette, Unplugged and my online community, Women, Unplugged.
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